I don't know why, but I seem to be doing really well and then have a couple of 'bingy' days and then well again. It's rather annoying.
Yesterday, I went to Asda on my way home to get dinner (I'd forgotten we were using up gammon after all), anyway, I ended up buying MORE liquorice torpedoes and alphabet sweets and eating them on my way home. I tried to really notice their sweetness whilst I was eating them. So what feelings were making me uncomfortable?
I think it was because of our baby plans. It came up naturally in conversation at work (someone has just got engaged) and I was being teased by my work colleagues. Anyway, I confided in one of them that we were going to 'try' soon. I shut the door so that other people couldn't hear, but on the way home I was 'brooding' over whether I had done the right thing, and what if rumours started spreading. By the time I got to Tescos, I was quite worried. I was looking at 'What to expect when you're expecting' and it said that you should always tell your boss first to avoid the rumour mill.
It's so silly, we're not even trying yet and I felt as if I was totally over reacting. There's nothing to worry about. Apart from anything else I'm fairly sure that work are expecting me to get pregnant fairly soon. I'm nearly 33 and have been married for just over a year, so realistically it's on the cards. So why did I get so wound up?
I got some wine whilst I was there and ended up drinking it whilst watching TV, since I'm cutting down on booze prior to baby-making I'm also annoyed at myself for sabotaging my efforts.
Anyway, I've confessed all now so I'll just have to stop dwelling on it and learn from it. Firstly I need to stop being a blabber mouth and secondly I to learn to feel those 'uncomfortable' feelings, notice them with interest and move on.
Sounds like you know exactly why you ate, so that's a great step. Don't beat yourself up about the wine, it's no big deal - just accept that you fancied a glass (or two) ;o) of wine and move on from it xx
ReplyDeleteHi LT! Yes the pre-job nerves are startng to quell, but I'm still wondering what I've let myself in for! Nvermind, I know that the people who I'll be working with are really nice and I'll soon get into the swing of things.
ReplyDeleteAs for your 'blabbermouth' concerns; I don't think you were a blabbermouth, you just wanted to confide in someone at this important time. Maybe you chose that person because they already have a family or share some of your experiences?
I suppose all our IE journeys are about being kind to ourselves and not thinking we all alone- reaching out for help or sharing a secret is all part of our coping mechanisms.
And a few binge free days followed by a binge seems okay to me, at least its not one long binge ;-)
Love B xxxx
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI've finally stopped being so slack and have come over to visit you. Hi!
I was reading this post and I thought, phew, I'm glad I'm not the only one. It's cool to read how other people deal with this stuff. I've been feeling bad because I have a few days where I feel like I just don't stop eating, even when I'm not hungry (the difference from before is that I realise it now!), and then a few days where I get it just right. It's hard to let go of that all or nothing attitude, and just go with the flow.
I've added you to my RSS so I'll be back :-)
P.s. poos about the exams!
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