things and stuff!

Well all the good vibes may have helped with the breech! I had my midwife's appt yesterday (and she brought the birthing bag) and she thinks that the baby is now head down. I'm going for the scan on monday to double check but she thinks it's okay.

The interview didn't go very well. I'm waiting to see what happens but got a bit tongue tied (very very unusual for me!!) and afterwards was really annoyed with myself as I could have answered the questions a lot better. The first one I didn't talk enough about where I am now, the 2nd personal question which was 'but don't the experts know best' I froze half-way through and couldn't think what to say. I just felt really tired and hormonal! I didn't sleep well the night before and had lots of bad dreams which didn't help.

I really don't know, I still want to do it but will need to see whether I've got on the course. If necessary I suppose that I could re-apply and try again for the following year, since I wanted a deferred place anyway.

Ooh exciting things

Thanks for the advice about the statements about the fat/thin me- I'll have to find the bit in the books about it. I re-did the talking to my fat which threw up some interesting bits about the way I was feeling. I felt a little soothed afterwards.

So, various bits of news. The baby is STILL breech. Next Wednesday, my very nice midwife is going to bring the home birthing kit around (we're staying positive about little one turning). If it's still breech then, I'm going to try moxibustion acupuncture which anecdotally may persuade it to turn. If I'm still breech on the monday they're going to try to turn the baby at the hospital. So it has just over a week to turn itself around - please send turny vibes!!

Apparently the ECV turny thing can set off labour or increase the risk of an immediate c-section, so it's even possible that the baby would come that day. I'll have my hubby there just in case.

I'm off to London this afternoon for my Chocolate Fairy group interview. If I get on the course I'll be deferring my place til 2009 as leaving a 3 month old (hopefully nursing baby) for a week long residential isn't going to be practical. I really want to commit to the course though and I know that I will get anxious about the cost and have second thoughts if I don't just go ahead.

I'm a bit anxious about the interview - looking smart at 36 weeks pregnant may be a little challenging and I won't be wearing a suit! I've never had a group interview before (except once for a really high powered job that I didn't get and was a total disaster as I couldn't think of anything to say - an unusual occurrence to be honest!)

My parents are going to lend me some of the money and by the time the course starts I'm hoping to be working part time so will get out a loan for the remainder or be incredibly frugal and save some money up (yeah right!)

Losing weight

What Mousie (http://www.neverhungryalwayshungry.blogspot.com/) said on the BC forum about losing weight and then eating more because you're losing weight, really resonated with me. I've done that so many times!

So what am I going to do this time around. Having had a sneaky peak at the scales I'm still pretty much where I started at the beginning of this pregnancy which means that in real terms I'll have lost about 2stone when I actually give birth.

That thought is exciting to me but also quite frightening - it's something us fat girls all dream of, waking up several stones lighter. But how am I going to cope emotionally, am I going to put it all back on again and more? How can I stop this from happening? Will my clothes all be too big after I've given birth - even my normal ones and how will I manage to buy new ones when I'm not working?

Oh dear, another thing to think about. Does anyone have any suggestions/advice about how I can deal with this?

Food during the baby holiday

So, I now have the opportunity to really tune in and think about what I want to eat and whether I am actually hungry. I really need to try and get snacking under control, I know that I eat my feelings like so many other people doing BC and learning intutive eating.

Yesterday, after hearing about the baby being the wrong way i ate chocolate and tablet from Thorntons - not so much that I was left feeling sick (and I actually was a bit hungry), on the other hand, this was not a healthy snack that will nourish me or the foetus.

My sweet tooth seems to be in the ascendance and I know that I need to try to choose fruit as well as sugary snacks.

Weightwise, I'm still fairly happy as I'm now about 5lbs above the weight I was at the doctors when I first found out I was pregnant. Since the baby itself easily weighs 4lb, and this excludes all ancillary services I can feel comfortable that I'm not gaining weight too quickly and will hopefully have lost weight after the birth. This is quite surprising as I'm really not denying myself any food.

baby holiday

Firstly, thanks for all of your lovely comments :)

So, I'm on day 2 of my baby holiday. I had a productive weekend. We bought a high chair (bit premature but saw a good one at a good price), a vax hoover that washes carpets and various other baby paraphernalia.

Saturday night we went to a dangerous fireworks party which had added danger due to one of my friends being a sealed nutter (re-enact0r) and having 1/2 lb of gunpowder. How they can trust him with guns I do NOT know. Anyway, it was amusing rather than chronically dangerous but I stayed indoors just in case the bang was really big!

I was also talking to some friends about BC and training and they were putting doubts in my mind about whether I'll be able to make the money back afterwards. I think I can, I really believe that people doing the course have grown as individuals and in their relationship with food, but I hope that the payback element is discussed in the interview - must make sure I ask lots of questions!

Sunday we went out for dinner (not sure how frequently this'll happen in the future so thought we ought to make the most of it) and scrubbed the baby's room.

Yesterday, I had a midwife's appt (am now nearly 34 weeks). It was supposed to be on Friday but got changed. And the bad news is that the baby is now in a breech position! Oh dear. I've got to go back in a fortnight to see if it's turned around and if not, I'll be going for a scan to check its position. After that their was a Parentcraft class talking about pain relief in labour (gulp) and then I thought perhaps I ought to try and get one of those exercise balls to encourage naughty baby back into position. After this very busy day I went bellydancing and slept rather well!

Today I've been staying in waiting for a cotbed and changing unit. I've also stencilled two of the walls in the nursery with princesses, dragons and castles. It looks rather cool, even if I say so myself.