Baby doesn''t like stress

Bleurgh, very sick this morning. I'm anxious about my exhibition, whether everyone will get there on time, whether I've forgotten anything, whether the things I've forgotten at the office will come down to the NEC.

I had a lovely relaxing weekend where I managed not to do too much and not worry about the exhibition. This morning however, I woke up at 5.15 and couldn't get back to sleep. It didn't help that the cat was complaining that he wanted to go out for about an hour (he doesn't like using his litter tray and I don't blame him).

I finally got up at 7am (no point in sleeping on) and have been REALLY sick and then had my shower. I'm sure it's mostly anxiety and that beanie doesn't appreciate my stress hormones interfering with its sleep!

Keep your fingers crossed for me over the next day or so that all goes well and we get set up okay. I'm going to be knackered tonight! Everyone else will be out drinking whilst I plan an earlyish night in the hotel.

Now I've got to persuade poor tummy to eat breakfast. I've got a smoothie I made earlier so will see if I can eat that or put it in a flask and have it in a few hours when I'm less fragile.

Happy

I told my mum and sister at lunchtime by phone, they were really pleased (apparently mum had a tear in her eye). Mum had guessed something was up as I talked to her yesterday and I was 'quiet as if I was hiding something.' She said it was the best birthday present she could have had and was already talking about babysitting!

I called dad and he was pleased too. He immediately talked about cutting down on booze, taking vitamins (I told him that I'd been doing that for ages) and about watching my blood pressure. I knew he'd worry, but I'm already a bit concerned about my BP as it was slightly high before I got pregnant and to be honest I don't need him to flap about it too!

(He's such a hypochondriac). Anyway, I got lovely responses and it made me feel really rather elated and excited to be able to give the news.

I've found that getting over-excited makes me feel nauseous though! I've still not been too bad, but morning sickness is definitely threatening. If it stays like this I'll be glad!

Bleurgh

I guess that eating regularly is becoming more important. I didn't get to eat my lunch at the normal time and when I went to heat up my moussaka it turned my stomach in an 'eurgh, looks like dog meat' stylee. I really like moussaka and really enjoyed it on Sunday.

Oh dear, morning sickness being all day sickness? I hope not, I'm a bit frantically busy at work today.

In laws

We told DH's mum and dad this weekend - they're delighted, it will be their first grandchild. It was lovely to be able to talk about it and my pregnancy openly. I'm awful at keeping secrets. We've starting to say things like 'in 9 months time' and 'if it's all okay, we'll need to...'.

I think DH is getting used to the idea. I'm really looking forward to telling my mum and sister on Wednesday (mum's birthday). They're going out to a cafe and I' going to call them both and tell them. I'll be the first in my family to have a baby too, and mum has been nagging me for years to get on with it. Actually, so has DS too, she'll love to be an Auntie. She's 8 years younger than me so I think it'll give her a chance to play at having one in total safety! I'll then call my dad and brother. Dad'll love to be a doting grandpa but I have no idea how DB will react.

Foodwise, my body seems to be working well. I've not really had any cravings, it doesn't appear to have grown (apart from my boobs which are huge and really sore). I seem to be really in tune, long may it continue!

Of course, I can't expect any weightloss from this, but I am hoping that I won't put much on, since I've stopped drinking and haven't been overeating 'sometimes' food as Rick Kausmann puts it.

shocked

I emailed my boss today to ask to leave a bit early for a doctor's appointment and he emailed me back saying did I want to take it as sick leave or a holiday (to which I thought what! I'd only be leaving an hour early!)

Anyway, I later spoke to him on his mobile (he works from home sometimes) and said I wanted to talk to him next week about something. He replied 'Why, are you pregnant?' to which I coughed, spluttered and said 'yes, how did you know?'

He's promised to keep it quiet, but I thought I was being subtle! It just shows how crap I am at keeping secrets. Never mind, I was only telling him because of an exhibition I'm going to in a week, when I'm sure he'd realise from the no booze and early bedtimes!

Cravings

Heh, well after discovering all the things I have to avoid I really fancied steak and watercress for dinner last night. I don't think it was a 'craving' as such though. Anyway, DH pointed out that I can only have well-cooked steaks, which is missing the point (I wanted blood), so we got steak burgers instead.

They were horrible, I only had 1/2 my dinner, just couldn't face it (the cat wouldn't eat the 2nd burger either!) The watercress was nice though. I partially filled up with a snack of halloumi that DH cooked to keep us going, but still, it's unlike me not to eat most of my dinner.

I feel really bloated at the moment, I seem to get awful wind at night (sorry TMI) and can't get comfortable for the gurglings in my stomach. I'm not sure why, possibly due to my internal organs moving and eating more fruit?

I'm also really tired, Wednesday I had a 2 hour nap when I got home from work and then went to bed at 10 o'clock and last night I was tucked up by 9 o'clock. How depressing is that!

However, the good news is that I seem to be eating intutively. I have no urge to binge at all and have been eating only at mealtimes (this is when I've been hungry). By food time I've been really hungry and ready to eat. But I've been enjoying my food more as a result.

Also good news is that the 'official test' came back from the hospital and I'm pregnant according to that too. So next week I have a doc's appointment on Thursday and after that it'll be talking to the midwife!

Liquorice induces labour?

First of all, thanks for all your kind comments. I'll let you know how I get on! I'm very excited but a bit scared too.

Secondly - oh, no, according to BBC news, liquorice is bad for pregnant ladies. Will I have to change my name to 'No Liquorice Torpedoes?'

Liquorice eaters have babies earlier
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/1378652.stm

Pregnant women who eat large amounts of liquorice could be at greater risk of having their babies prematurely, warn scientists.
Finnish researchers found that women who ate at least 2.5 packets of black liquorice sweets, containing 100 grams each, per week were twice as likely to deliver before 38 weeks.
They found the liquorice eaters were likely to deliver about 2.5 days earlier than those who ate little or none of the sweets. "

Is there anyone in there?

I've got some very exciting news which means that I had better give up any plans of weightloss and instead concentrate on healthy intutive eating.

I'm pregnant! Only about 6 weeks, so it's very early days yet. In fact, I was worried about telling you guys, so i'm doing so on the understanding that you're here for me if I *gulp* miscarry. Also, please don't mention it until I do at the Beyond Chocolate party as I may have some friends there who don't know.

It happened the first month of trying which is also really good by me. I suppose it means my insides are working healthily which is good to know. I haven't told my parents yet -my mum's birthday is next wednesday so I think it'll be a nice extra surprise. My DH's parents are coming to visit this weekend so we'll tell them if they guess but otherwise let them know next wednesday too.

I'm telling our HR lady this afternoon but want to wait a bit longer before other people know at work (in case it all goes wrong).

I'm really excited - it's my first pregnancy. If all goes well, I'm due to have the baby around 10-14th December. So far, I've got a bit of nausea and my boobs feel huge but otherwise I'm fine.

I already have some questions for those more experienced than me.

1) smoked salmon - is this a no no? (i hope not as I love smoked salmon)
2) cheesecake - this is soft cheese and therefore to be avoided? Am I correct?

Weight loss

I'm back to the thorny issue of weight loss. I'm a little frustrated that so far I haven't really lost anything. I'd love to release some weight for the sake of my health.

Don't get me wrong, I accept my body the way it is, I'd just feel more comfortable as a slightly smaller size. So how can I go about losing weight whilst remaining true to IE/BC? I don't want to starve or stuff myself, I'm eating much less chocolate/sweets than I used to. I no longer have the urge to overeat either chocolate or liquorice torpedoes or anything else for that matter.

My weight has been stable for the last year (fluctuating by about 5lbs). So what next? Do I concentrate more on not getting too full? Do I journal what I'm eating and then work out what I could eat instead? (Is this too diety?) I don't want to go back to any slimming club.

Any advice would be gratefully received.

Hungry

The last few days I've been feeling really hungry by my mealtimes. I've not particularly wanted to overeat in between but I'm very ready to eat when at my standard times. I'm getting the hang of this IE thing, but still haven't lost any weight. I have managed to totally cut back on the wine and had the unusual experience of waking up before 9am on both saturday and sunday. Hopefully the reduction in booze will start to show on my waistline.

I feel healthier for not drinking (well actually I had a bottle of v. low alcohol cider on Friday and a small glass of white wine saturday night) but that's pretty much it for the last week.

I haven't been bellydancing for 2 weeks because of the bank holiday and am really looking forward to stretching myself out tonight. I feel so much better after I've wobbled for an hour ;)

I borrowed 'When you eat at a refrigerator pull up a chair' by Geneen Roth, which was a good book, with lots of helpful advice about ways to change the way you approach food. I particularly liked her chatting about stopping being a drama queen. I think maybe we overeaters have this tendency to blow up any problems. I know it's something i do. I enjoy a good story (perhaps it's my irish heritage). But I can see what she means, if we're exaggerating how well or badly we're doing and swinging from one panic to another it can be quite stressful.

So I'm trying to moderate my emotions too and avoid exaggerating my problems and fears by asking myself what's the worst that could happen?

In the mood

I've managed to eat intutively since last Friday, partially because I've been too busy to think about food and I think also because the weather has improved and I'm feeling happier. I like Spring.

I've been thinking about when I am more likely to overeat and trying to notice it a bit more and therefore avoid grazing as I know it was a bit of a downfall. I've not been tempted by my little box of goodies, although it's nice to know I can eat them if I want to. I'm just not that bothered.

Also suprisingly, we've just not got around to eating our easter eggs (the pack of 3 we bought between us). I'm trying to make a concerted effort to eat more fruit and veg, including fruit juice and dried mango/raisins and smoothies. The brighter weather just makes me feel more like eating these things.

Back to reality

The game was a lot of fun but I was wrong in my prediction that I'd eat a lot of meat. We decided to buy food at the event rather than taking stuff to cook with us. Unfortunately, there were more people than expected at the festival, so there wasn't much food available.

Consequently, whilst I did eat, I didn't eat very much and it was predominantly vegetarian. So, now I crave MEAT! We had a tandoori mixed grill take out for dinner last night, today for lunch I had sausages and tonight I'm having steak with roasted mediterranean vegetables.

So far, I haven't had any easter eggs or similar. We have bought a pack of three fairtrade ones to share (they're smallish). At the moment I am full of sausages though, slightly too full in fact.

Today I am relaxing, reading my book, catching up on washing and at some point will go and play on my wii (I can't be bothered doing any of the active games though).

Just move!

I got my wii last night, it's a lot of fun playing tennis, golf and bowling in our front room. Very silly, but you'd be surprised how much it feels like exercise after an hour or so of leaping to hit the invisible ball!

I'm away this weekend, we're going to Maelstrom http://www.profounddecisions.co.uk/, which is another live action roleplaying game. This time I get to sit in a field with butlers, being 'a lady,' drinking tea and eating tiffin. (I kid you not). There may also be a small lake of wine drunk, although I'm not necessarily partaking this year.

It's marvelous fun, apart from the sleeping in a field bit, but at least it's April this year and the weather forecast is for nice weather (even unseasonably hot!).

I end up eating a lot of meat since we bbq as that's the easiest thing to eat whilst camping. It is one of the few occasions when I have a tendency to forget to eat because I'm too busy catching up on people I haven't seen for about 6 months.

I won't be around on any forums for a bit as I'll be in a field, but will try to catch up on Monday, depending on how tired I am.

Conflict

Yesterday I had a minor spat with my DH over tidying up. It was just a silly thing, with him shouting at me and me feeling cross. Soon afterwards I ate my dinner mindfully, but then had some ice cream afterwards.

In my head I was saying to myself 'Are you really still hungry or are you just eating because you're cross with him?' I told myself to 'shut up' because I wanted to eat my ice cream and because it was with my dinner so it was allowed. I wasn't overfull, just not 'hungry.'

I'm also a bit disappointed as I don't think I've got pregnant this month - feel very PMTy - won't know definite for a few more days but I was enjoying day dreaming.

Looking back though, perhaps I could have sat with my feeling cross and not eaten the ice cream. I suppose noticing the emotion is part of the battle and noticing what I'm doing once I've had the emotion is useful too, but I'm still not there yet with just sitting with it and not having the ice cream (which wasn't even that nice!).

But actually admitting what I felt and why I might have been a bit 'churned up' inside is a useful exercise, I'm not sure all the emotions had quite floated to my brain and been processed.

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I've just bought a nintendo Wii online. I've been waiting for ages to get one. It should arrive tomorrow by parcel force and my DH is going to work from home in order to sign for it.

*does excited dance*

A springclean of the hearth and soul

I've had a lovely weekend. I very bravely met Twirlgirl and G from the Beyond Chocolate forum in Manchester. It was so nice to meet people who've been trying out the intutive eating, to compare notes and see where you can get to.

(And very amusing, since I'd never met either of them before and we were each carrying our BC books in a spy thriller type manner and had the awkward moment of 'Are you G?' 'Yes, are you A?'

Both of them seem to be doing so well and it was really heartening to see where I think I'm going to get to. One of the best things was that we all seem to believe that we've changed internally since starting BC. It's not just about learning to accept our bodies and changing what we eat. It's also about becoming more relaxed in our bodies, making more time for ourselves and becoming more assertive in expecting our rights. It's also about taking pride in yourself and your surroundings. (Both Twirlgirl and I feel we want to be tidier people at home, which is quite amusing that we got there separately.)

It's wonderful to see this happening to other people as it sort of confirms what you suspect is happening to yourself.

So, as part of caring more about myself I want to live in attractive surroundings. As such, we've cleaned the lounge windows and the kitchen windows and hoovered everywhere, even behind the settee. It's shockingly tidy and really makes me feel pleased to look at it.