12 weeks and counting

Yay, i've got to 12 weeks now. I'm generally feeling better and hadn't had morning sickness in over a week until today. Today I feel rubbish, sick, tired, down and not like working at all. :( I don't know why, I really thought I was over the worst.

Sorry to moan.

More positively, I had a lovely weekend. I bought a fetal doppler (thing that lets you hear the baby's heartbeat) off ebay and it arrived on Friday. It took a lot of patience, but I eventually heard the heartbeat which was wonderful since I still haven't had a scan. So now I'm fairly confident there's something in there. Wow! I found it again on Monday and DH heard it too.

Most of my friends now know about my pregnancy but I've got to the 12 week mark, so don't mind them guessing. We had our proper Wii and games party night on Sunday, it was supposed to be a BBQ but we had a grilling and slightly pathetic BBQ due to the rain.

I really enjoyed the fuss, they're all so pleased for us! One of them had guessed a while back, another two guessed as they saw the Haynes Manual guide from preconception to 12 months. I told some of the others as it reached critical mass in our living room where 80% of the people there knew.

IE wise, I don't want to eat a lot at all. I seem to get full quite quickly and sometimes have to force myself to eat(!) Today I'm a bit sicky but I'm being good and having soup for lunch (I'd prefer nothing), since I know that I sometimes get sick from not eating! It might improve my energy levels too.

I still haven't had any cravings, though I'm eating a lot of ice cream. I'm trying to eat little and often.

Bit of a fright but all ok now

I had a bit of a scare on Monday night after going bellydancing when I noticed a tiny bit of spotting! Anyway, I spoke to NHS direct and they said that it's probably okay providing I didn't have any more (and if there was a problem it'd be over the next 48 hours) . I've had nothing further so I'm assuming it was just random.

It did give me a real scare though. I've got to 11 weeks now (12 on monday) and it'd be awful to lose the baby now as I've got used to the idea and was starting to relax a little. I'm being more careful at work and letting other people lift boxes of literature and Rich carry the shopping and I'm going to miss my bellydancing tonight (boo).

I've been feeling SOOO bloated though. On tuesday evening I ate my dinner and afterwards I had the most awful gas - it sounded as if something was living in my abdomen (and it's too early for it to be the baby!). This has meant I don't feel much like eating, I already feel full. (A new problem!!)

I've bought some really nice chocolates from Hotel Chocolat, we've been enjoying them a lot. I realised though that I've managed to just eat 3 of 4 a night, I'd never have done this 6 months ago! Real progress! I'm enjoying each one really mindfully.

This weekend we're going to have the BBQ and games party we wanted to have last weekend but had on a small scale because someone was having a house warming party. It should be fun, if it's not too rainy, but is going to be v. obvious that there's a reason I'm not drinking and it's not because I'm driving! It doesn't matter too much since I'll be very almost 12 weeks. I think we've done well (mostly) keeping it a secret until now.

I still don't have a bump of any description. In fact, I've lost a pound or two. I'm sure this is because I'm not drinking booze. I'm happy about it but accept that when I put on some weight it's okay and a healthy, normal thing, not something to be resistant to. I'm not undereating by any stretch of the imagination!

All's well

I'm still feeling good today - the nausea seems to have gone and I'm slightly less tired than I was.

I made it to bellydancing last night, I'm glad I went, although I was tired out by the end. There was a lady there with a 30 week old belly. It was dead funny as she was cradling her bump when she was dancing to stop it moving about. I asked her how she found it and she said her baby just seems to sleep through the movements, probably rocked to sleep. There was another lady there who said she'd carried on dancing til about 34 weeks, when our bellydancing teacher started to get nervous!

Theoretically it's very good for childbirth preparation as it's all about hip movements and exercises your pelvic floor muscles.

Foodwise, I must remember that eating too much Haggen Daz icecream doesn't feel nice.

Now that my appetite has come back, I'll have to concentrate on eating less chocolate (when I wasn't really hungry), as I was starting to get into bad habits.

I'm unsure what I'll be up to this weekend, we were hoping to have friends around to play with the wii and other games, but one of them is having a house warming party. I'm not keen on going as it'll be very boozy and I'd prefer something more sociable that I can join in with more easily. I could just go and be the driver but some friends are already a bit suspicious and this'll make it more obvious.

One of our friends, S. keeps teasing us about when we're going to have a baby. She asked DH a week or so again and he said something vague (along the lines of soon). If she asks me, I'm going to be forced to say, 'Ooh, i don't know, I reckon around 10th December' just to see her face. DH wants me to wait, but I'll be fine if it's funny! (This is another reason not to go to the party!)

Bright & breezy

I'm feeling much better today for no obvious reason. I wasn't sick this am, I don't feel horrendously tired, didn't have any nightmares and I almost feel like I'm blooming. Long may it continue! I have no idea why I feel good but I'm enjoying it.

So, I might make it to bellydancing tonight (we'll see how I feel by 6pm!).

Foodwise, I've re-stocked on liquorice torpedoes, chocolate and ice cream at home, but so far haven't eaten them (apart from a handful of LTs). I had a bit of a worry on Tuesday night as my friend who was cooking dinner made homemade cheesecake with mascarpone and it's a soft cheese. I couldn't ask her if it's okay for pregnant women to eat, but after DH and I examined the Sainsburys carton which had no warnings we decided it was okay. I checked on the web and apparently it's fine, so I'm rather relieved.

I also had a chuckle with my mum last night. She has a friend who's pregnant and has a pet dog (very spoiled) probably as spoilt as my cat. Anyway, you can get a CD of baby noises to stop the animals being upset from soundtherapy4pets. Mum's going to let her know as they're all teasing her at work that her dog will be scared/jealous of the baby.

Have other people had cats and how did they react to newborns? We're looking forward to Milton sitting on my tummy and being thrown off when the baby decides to start kicking- it'll be dead funny!

Tired

Firstly, thanks for the nice comments about being in the Beyond Chocolate newsletter. I'd forgotten I'd written that bit actually. I know they really like it when they get sent articles if anyone else is inspired. I work in marketing and have to write our work newsletter so know it's a pain getting contributions!

*Yawn* I'm really tired today. I'm not sure why, the weekend wasn't that busy. I could just sleep and sleep. I'm also having horrible dreams every night. Last night I dreamt that I couldn't get home from school and had been abandoned on the side of the road. I then dreamt that I was at uni and couldn't find a shower.

I'm totally unmotivated at work today (the tiredness again). I just don't feel like doing anything at all.

I seem to have no morning sickness at the weekend think 'whoohoo it's gone', get out of bed on a monday ready to go and then get it again. Still, I'm not starting week 11, so hopefully only a fortnight or so of MS and then maybe I'll be back to normal.

I've also been eating lots of sweets and choccy. I think it's related to the tiredness, but I must make sure that I monitor this as I'm not really hungry, just wanting body comfort. I'd prefer a nap, but have to make do with a bar of choccy!

I think I might just have an early night tonight and skip bellydancing. I *should* go, because I enjoy it when I'm there and it was cancelled for the last fortnight but I don't have the energy today. I'll try and persuade myself to go to the one tomorrow or Thursday.

Full of the joys of spring

11th June seems like SUCH a long way away. I'm still getting morning sickness (it's worse if anything). In fact, tuesday morning I leapt out of bed with all the joys of spring and realised it was a BIG mistake. Bleurgh, good job I had a bin handy!

My mum says it's nature's way of slowing pregnant women down. ;)

I'm rather tired at the moment and in need of a proper holiday. I told my boss I want to take a holiday in June (3rd or 4th week) and he told me that he thought I'd want to avoid holidays since I'll have maternity leave. FFS! I haven't had a full week off since Xmas and DH will need a holiday too. I have 18 days to take this year so I don't see why on earth he'd think I don't want a break!

I also had work colleagues trying to tell me not to eat smoked salmon or cooked prawns yesterday. I can't see anything about avoiding these things on NHS direct so I'm going to continue eating them as they taste good.

In the middle of the night last night I woke up with really bad stomach ache. I have no idea what triggered it but it was fine this morning. Perhaps it was wind (an unpleasant side effect of pregnancy!). I'm a bit anxious as my mum miscarried at about 9 weeks, which is where I'm at. I'm being extra careful just in case. I've decided to stop looking on the babycentre boards as there keep being women coming off the board because they've lost their baby. I really hope this doesn't happen to me, the thought is very scary.

Brave new world

I was VERY daring this weekend. I went to meet a girl called S. who I met through Beyond Chocolate and the normal eating website. I'd hardly spoken to her on the phone, but had shared my darkest thoughts and fears about food via email and the web.

Anyway, I had been invited to stay at her house and go to the BC teaparty yesterday afternoon and I thought it would be a lovely way to meet her. I was relieved to discover she was as lovely in real life as she came across in her emails and we easily slotted into a knowing each other for ever friendship, united by our difficult eating patterns.

She's just been on the BC fairy course and had really enjoyed it and got a lot out of it. She lives in a studio flat in New Malden, it was immaculately tidy, with one of those pull down beds in a cupboard. I'm far too disorganised to ever hope to live in such a carefully organised space and she agreed that it gets a little claustrophobic. I've lived in bedsits before but they were much bigger, although not as well furnished.

We had a really nice evening in, chatting and watching a movie called 'Starter for 10' (which was only okay).

On Sunday we slept in a little, mainly my fault as I was apparently snoring (whoops) and kept her awake. I can't sleep on my tummy at the moment as my boobs are too sore so I'm blaming the baby!

I met my sister prior to going to the Tea Party, it was lovely to catch up. She and her boyfriend are moving in together and have just found a flat to share.

Anway, afterwards I went to the tea party. It was very exciting to meet Sophie and Audrey and they were as I'd imagined them. We greeted each other like long lost friends, more people I feel I know although I've never met.

There was a moment when I looked around quite lost, and then I saw Alicetini, AlisonR and KittenKi and Josie (Sweet Chocolate Kisses). Thankfully we recognised each other and I immediately felt welcomed. We got given wonderful, delicate little cakes and sat around chatting.

Then came the talks, we went downstairs and there were loads of people! In fact, we had to sit on the floor so I'm guessing there may have been more than expected. It was very interesting listening to the nutritionist and doctor turned health coach explaining that they agree with the principles of intuitive eating and BC. I wish that my local GP was as enlightened.

And then came chocolate tasting. Mmm. One word of warning, though, beware greed. I and another lady went to one of the tables where there was something that could have been white chocolate or cheese. We both took a big mouthful. Bleurgh, it was cocoa butter!

All in all, I had a very pleasant weekend and enjoyed a bit of me time.

midwife appointment

I went to see the midwife this afternoon and she was lovely. I must admit though that the badly behaved children who were with one of the women also waiting were enough to make me change my mind! They were only about 6 years old and totally ignoring pleas to sit down and behave.

If the mums had brought a book to read to them or something I'm sure they'd have been less disruptive, it's a lot to ask young children to sit quietly. The little boy was kissing his brother in the pram and being shouted at by his mum instead of encouraged to show his affection.

Anyway, obviously I'll be a perfect mum ;) remind me in 7 years time!

The midwife said that my blood pressure isn't a massive worry as the lower number is 80 and should be under 90. Other than drinking more milk (a pint a day yuck, I'll go with her hot chocolate idea) I think I'm doing most stuff right. And I'm far less worried. I could have a home birth if I want, not sure as it's my first time. Also, she'll come and visit me at home to arrange things, which I wasn't expecting.

My scan is on 11th June, I wish it was sooner, I'd sort of like proof that I'm not imagining it and that there is a baby inside me accounting for my discomfort!

Anyway I must go and eat something, I'm aware I've not been eating much the last few days and I've got homemade sushi in the fridge. yum

Mmm avocados

Well I really fancied those pringles and avocado last night. So I bought a packet, sat down and peeled my 2 avos and put a handful of pringles into a bowl. I really enjoyed eating them for my dinner and then went straight to bed at 7.30pm!

I pretty much slept right through until 7am this morning and feel much better today, more positive and awake. I was SOOO tired.

And I'm really pleased about the pringles with avocado thing. Prior to BC/IE I'd have eaten the packet and my dinner. Last night I ate 10-12 pringles and really enjoyed them. I suspect my body wanted some fuel after eating less than normal (and probably than I needed) at the exhibition. It totally satisfied me and I listened when I got the message that they were high fat and I didn't need that many to feel full.

I may be getting this IE thing!

Oh and I ate a ginger biscuit before getting up this morning and was much better (only slight gagging whilst brushing my teeth)!

Back to reality

Phew, my part (for now) in the exhibition is over. The whole thing was slightly traumatic - things went wrong but mostly got sorted out. I am SOOOO tired now. I've realised i need to be more careful about not getting over tired and eating properly or I get wobbly and fall off benches/fall over. (We worked from 10am to 11.30pm monday and were back at the show on Tuesday at 8am, and all that time only ate sandwiches!)

Overeating wise, well, I've been too busy to eat, rather than eating too much. Last night, I had a real craving for liquorice torpedoes and pringles with avocado. I got to the shop and bought the LT but forgot to buy the pringles. I drove back from Birmingham about 3.30pm and could hardly keep my eyes open I was so tired.

I also could tell the reasons I wanted to eat them were partially because I was hungry, but also because I hadn't eaten much the previous 2 days and thirdly I was feeling down about the whole exhibition and massively overtired.

I did eat some, but instead had a nap for an hour or so and they're in the cupboard waiting for when I fancy them again.

The MS was better this morning, probably because I was less anxious.