Emotions & personality

As I've said before I've been reading 'The food and feelings workbook'. It's made me really start to think about how I experience (or ignore) emotions.

Katiepie really made me think in her post today
"I have discovered / realised that although I like to think I am a nice person, sometimes I am not. Sometimes I feel like being vindictive, being nasty, being a gossip, being annoying. And I don't like feeling like that. I have actually been shocked to realise some of the things that have been about to have come out of my mouth. I don't really like that part of me much! But at least now I'm being honest and admitting to myself that I am what I am, and it's ok. And it's ok to love myself, even though I'm not perfect."

Like a lot of people with weight problems, I've always felt pressurised into ignoring 'negative' emotions and 'blocking' aspects of my personality that I'm uncomfortable with. For example, I sometimes find it hard to forgive people who've hurt my feelings. Usually I don't hold a grudge, but I do get angry or upset, it just takes a lot before I tell someone how I'm feeling.

I try not to act like this but I wonder whether like Katiepie, not acknowledging this aspect of my personality is actually a bit of a problem? I'm usually described as 'nice' by people. I don't regard myself as a doormat but I do find it really hard to cope with other people being angry or agressive - I just sort of 'shut down' or block it out. I don't know how to react and start playing the peacemaker.

I'm sure it's partially due to being a catholic, where these feelings/actions are regarded as sinful and wrong and you're supposed to avoid these personality defects.

But perhaps always playing the peacemaker and seeing other people's perspectives isn't always a good thing. It means I don't always have an opinion about what I'm seeing.

I also identified with http://brookelyons.typepad.com/health/ when she talks about how 'getting fatter' signals to other people she's not coping or is unhappy. Yikes, I think I do that too. I don't want to ask for help or admit I'm not coping (it gets boring after a while) and instead eat more.

It's amazing what you learn from other people about yourself.